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 1 
 on: February 12, 2009, 02:43:46 PM 
Started by Pokerdad - Last post by Pokerdad
You gotta love Robin Williams......Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message. 

 Robin Williams' plan (Hard to argue with this logic!) 

 'I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.'

 1) 'The US will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys', we will never 'interfere' again.

 2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

 3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are.
They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

 4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

 5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home baby. 

 6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou
will have to cope for a while.

 7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling
up the storage sites would be enough.) 

 8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen
or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

 9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

 10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH. learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

 'The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?'


 2 
 on: November 19, 2008, 06:59:12 PM 
Started by Pokerdad - Last post by Mark Hope
LOL

That is funny shit!

 3 
 on: November 19, 2008, 05:34:31 PM 
Started by Pokerdad - Last post by Pokerdad
Here is a riddle for the true intellectual.
Try to come up with the answer on your own.
The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think this one through.

 

Here's the riddle:
 
At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth:
 
1. One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.
 
2. The other is getting a blow job from an 85-year-old toothless woman.
 
They are both thinking the exact same thing.
 
What are they both thinking?
 
 
 
SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Answer:    Don't look down.
 no

 4 
 on: November 03, 2008, 06:15:44 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope
 thinking


 5 
 on: October 08, 2008, 07:00:50 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope

Getting A Parking Ticket

The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into the local   coffee shop for a snack.
I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was this  cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His insensitivity annoyed  me, so I called him a 'Nazi.'
He glared at me and then wrote out another ticket for having worn tires.
So I proceeded to call him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the  second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him a moron in blue.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to him the more  tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't really care. I came downtown on the bus, and the  car that he was putting the tickets on had one of those b umper stickers that  said, 'Obama in '08.'

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.  The doctor tells me that it's important to my health.
 

 

 6 
 on: October 08, 2008, 06:55:27 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year
old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to
come over.

Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID
ten T error? What's that?  In case I need to fix it again.'
   
Richard  grinned.  'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error
before?''

 No,' I replied.

 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it
out.'

So I wrote down:       I D 1 0 T  tears2

I used to like the little shit.
 

  Angry




 7 
 on: October 08, 2008, 05:48:46 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope
 Angry

 8 
 on: October 08, 2008, 05:35:17 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope

AAA Fuel Cost Calculator

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Calculate The Estimated Fuel Cost Of Your Trip
 
 
http://www.fuelcostcalculator.com/TripGasPrice.aspx


 9 
 on: October 08, 2008, 05:34:10 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope


The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.

-Gen. Norman Schwarzkoff

 10 
 on: October 08, 2008, 05:32:45 PM 
Started by Mark Hope - Last post by Mark Hope


Golden Gates Casino & Poker Parlour
Black Hawk, Colorado
September 20-October 5, 2008


http://heartlandpokertour.com/eventinfo.php?yid=2008&eid=26

Nice Job Adam!

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